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Is it acceptable to use lab-grown diamonds in an engagement ring?

Firstly, what is a Lab-Grown Diamond?

There are two main types of lab-grown diamonds. One of them is HPHT which stands for high-pressure, high temperature. HPHT diamonds are created with huge machines that compress carbon to create a diamond under great pressure and heat, similar to the forces of nature. The second type of lab-grown diamond is CVD which stands for chemical vapour disposition which is a diamond that is grown in a laboratory.

So, both HPHT and CVD are considered lab-grown diamonds or man-made diamonds.

The very simple economics is that anything that can be made by man can be made in unlimited quantities and therefore once you have unlimited supply there is no minimum price.

The question to answer – “Is the use of a lab-grown diamond in an engagement ring acceptable?”

The symbol of an engagement ring is a public symbol of love and a commitment to a person to show this authenticity of this commitment. The engagement ring, therefore, must contain an item of lasting intrinsic value – a lab-grown diamond as we can see does not.

Let’s ask the question for one moment. If a piece of glass could be polished to sparkle like a diamond would it be acceptable in an engagement ring?

Of course not, this is not a jewellery item that has lasting intrinsic value. It is commonly available and has no rarity, the same principle applies to lab-grown diamonds.

Myths about Lab-grown diamonds

Myth 1

There are valuable expensive lab-grown diamonds, for example, people have paid hundreds of thousands of rands for a lab-grown diamond. Surely this is a symbol of commitment to the person that receives this engagement ring. The answer is no, unfortunately, the person who purchased this expensive lab-grown diamond has been deceived and has purchased a jewellery item of no intrinsic value. The metaphor for this is if a family receives labola of ten cows for a daughter and these ten cows have diseases at the time of transfer of ownership, and die shortly after, this is not a labola.

Myth 2

For the same cost or investment, a lab-grown diamond may be far larger or more attractive than the equivalent natural diamond. This may be true; however, one can get an engagement ring made of metal with a piece of glass that is incredibly large and incredibly beautiful and has no value. This is not an acceptable engagement ring.

Myth 3

Lab-grown diamonds are eco-friendly. This is often marketed by the sellers of lab-grown diamonds and unfortunately, lab-grown diamonds are not eco-friendly. HPHT and CVD lab-grown diamonds take a great deal of energy and are not environmentally friendly as marketed by the sellers.

Myth 4

An engagement ring is not going to be re-sold therefore the value or resale value is not relevant. This is completely relevant whilst the purpose of an engagement ring is not to sell it or appreciate in value. The sign of commitment is relative to the value of the jewellery item given. As a lab-grown diamond has zero value, despite having paid a lot of money, it has zero value and therefore it is not a symbol of commitment.

Lastly, one needs to consider the motivation of a person who purchases jewellery gifts or wears a lab-grown diamonds. It would seem that the intention in all those situations is to deceive. A person who wears a lab-grown diamond that is bigger than the equivalent natural diamond likely has the intention to deceive the people who look at the jewellery piece. The person who gifts or proposes with lab-grown diamonds with whatever motivation, is most likely trying to deceive the person who is receiving the engagement ring into believing they are being proposed to with something of value. The people who sell these zero-value jewellery items has the full knowledge that they will never have any intrinsic value and would never pay anything for these items should the customer wish to return them. They are ultimately deceiving the customer.

It is clear that the use of a Lab grown diamonds in an engagement ring is not acceptable as there is no authenticity or deep commitment to the person or the relationship.

Should you be concerned as to whether the diamond in your engagement ring is a natural and valuable diamond or a lab grown, we at Jack Friedman Jewellers are willing to test your diamond at no charge. Jack Friedman Jewellers feel it is essential to assist couples to know that there is a strong commitment in their relationship before embarking in this wonderful journey called “marriage”.

What happens to jewellery when the relationship does not last?

One needs to consider the stage of the relationship i.e. dating, engaged, recently married and long-term marriage. There are the legal ownership issues which we at Jack Friedman believe may be completely different to the moral and ethical issues surrounding jewellery and engagement rings when a relationship ends.

An engagement ring prior to marriage

The legal situation 

In law once a gift such as an engagement ring or jewellery is given the ownership passes.  Therefore the lady who receives the engagement ring or jewellery is now the owner no matter what happens to the relationship. 

The Jack Friedman moral principle

At Jack Friedman, we believe the following applies in the event of an engagement that does not make it to the wedding. If the man chooses to break off the engagement we believe that the engagement ring should be kept by the lady that received the engagement ring. However, if the lady that received the engagement ring chooses to break off the relationship, we believe morally this engagement ring should be returned to the man. This applies even though legally she is the owner of this item.

Once married and getting divorced

What happens to the engagement ring and other jewellery gifts that were given throughout the marriage?

At Jack Friedman, we believe that in most situations the legal aspect of ownership applies. The nature of the pre-nuptial contract will change the legal answer. However in most marriages the person who received the gift is now the owner of the gift. The value of the jewellery gifts given during the course of the marriage should not form part of the communal Estate for divorce. 

The Jack Friedman moral principle

As these jewellery gifts were gifted as an expression of love, and therefore the person who received those gifts should keep them and should not be brought to account in terms of dividing the assets built up during the course of the marriage. However, legally depending on the marriage agreement, whether the couple is married community of property, ANC or antenuptial contract with an accrual or without an accrual, different legal aspects would apply. At Jack Friedman, we do not believe this is morally correct and the jewellery gift is the property of the person who received it.

Family Heirloom Jewellery

There are exceptional circumstances where jewellery has been handed down from older generations. At Jack Friedman, we believe the legal situation should not apply and there is a moral way of dealing with this type of situation.

For example, a man proposes with a diamond engagement ring where the diamond was handed down from a mother or grandmother or even great-grandmother. This is a family heirloom and this diamond should remain in the family. We believe the following aspects need to be considered, does the couple have children and more specifically are their daughters? We believe jewellery that has been passed down as an heirloom should be passed to the daughters of that couple. This jewellery should not be taken into account in terms of determining the value of the couple’s communal Estate to be divided on divorce. There needs to be some agreement that the item of jewellery should not be sold unless absolutely necessary, for financial reasons and should be handed down in the family for future generations. As this would have been the wishes of the original owner ie the grandmother or great-grandmother or great-great-grandmother that originally received this item of jewellery.

What if there are no children?

Once again at Jack Friedman, we believe that the legal situation should not apply and the following should be applied. If that item of jewellery or engagement ring came from the husband’s family the lady that received it and has no children to pass that item of jewellery to, this item should go back to the husband’s family. However, there should be financial compensation to the lady who received this jewellery or engagement ring. We at Jack Friedman would be happy to value the jewellery piece or engagement ring in terms of what is a fair replacement value of the jewellery and that value should be offered as compensation to the lady who gives up the heirloom jewellery.

Conclusion

In summary, engagement rings or jewellery gifts transfer ownership to the person who received the gift which was a gift of love is now the owner. The owner of the jewellery gift can do with it as they wish unless there are exceptional circumstances as mentioned above. When these circumstances are prior to marriage, it depends on who terminated the relationship and in the event of heirloom jewellery that was handed down and will no longer remain with the family’s offspring.

While Jack Friedman’s opinion is not the legal practice we believe this to be ethically and morally the correct way to deal with jewellery gifts or engagement rings in the unfortunate situation where a relationship or marriage terminates. We would be happy to engage with anyone who has similar or alternative views on this subject.